Don't drink and blog

I was a bit afraid this morning to read the post I wrote last night. I had a few glasses of wine in me at the time. It turned out not to be too bad after all. Luckily no secrets were revealed, no "I love you all out there in the blog world" meaningless blurts.

Change was basically the premise of the whole post. How I deal with it - that sort of thing.

I immerse myself into projects or a new job. Sometimes a little slowly at first and then after a while I become totally focused on it. Almost to the exclusion of anything else.

During the summer it was the little garden project, and then the rain barrel project and then the little pool project. I had a few other projects on my list, but I didn't really want to do them and so I never did. Painting the laundry room and painting the bilco doors keep getting recycled on my list. They aren't hard jobs, but for some reason I keep putting them off.

Once all of the little projects were done - slowly I started doing some things for me! I had nothing better to do, so I grabbed the camera, went on walks with the dogs, took some fun bike rides which led into eating healthier, losing a bit of weight and really feeling good about myself.

I was energized. Margie and I joined a gym and we were going pretty regularly.

Then another change happened - my friends opened up a little cookie bakery place and asked if I could help.

SURE - no worries. I worked with them to do some clean up and set up. We got together to figure out what recipes we wanted for our basic cookies and I became immersed in the entire process. Having a blast!

Unfortunately my focus on the cookies took my focus off myself. No more bike rides, no more gym, screw eating healthy I had cookies to taste test.

Talking with counselor G, she asked me what is it that I think rattles me the most and it's obvious that change is the answer.

This is where I think the ADD part kind of comes in. I like the change as long as it's challenging. When I lose the challenge I become bored and complacent. Looking for the new next exciting thing.

Something else to focus on for a while.

I've always admired people who have worked for the same company for 5 - 10 - 20 years. I like the concept, but it seems elusive to me. Sitting in a cubicle 8 hours a day doing the same thing over and over is like slow torture. Let me do something new, move me to a different department but change it up a little.

My focus is a bit scattered at the moment. There have been a few new changes in my life so I am re-adjusting myself again. The new puppy - BIG change. Working less hours at the cookie place - little change. Starting back to school next week - expected change.

If I look at it as a whole - all of these changes are happening at the perfect time. My decreased hours at work will give me more time to do my homework for school and play with puppy as needed.

Counselor G asked - that's all fine, but what are you doing for YOU?

Me? Me who?

Going back to school is for me - all me not for anyone else.

Counselor G asked - what about your photography and your painting?

That has taken a back burner recently.

Counselor G - and why is that?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm....well. Becaaaaaaauuuuuuse I'm too busy doing other things?

Counselor G shakes her head slowly - uh uh. Not good. Your homework for our next session is to give time to Sharon AND - tell me exactly what you've done.

Crap.

Why is doing something for OTHER people easier to me than doing something for myself?

Guilt? Co-dependency? Laziness? Unselfishness?

Overcompensating for being too selfish earlier in my life?

All of the above?

:::drumming fingers:::

OK...so what am I going to do. I am going to do some work on a stippling picture I started and numb my mind with tiny little dots. it's actually very therapeutic. I really have to focus and I get in a zone.

Off I go - here is a picture I was playing with last week. It's kind of trippy looking. Let me know what you think!



Made totally without the use of any mind altering chemicals - scary place my brain sometimes!

Have a fabu weekend all!

Peace!

Waisting time

I should be cleaning - but I'm so not in the mood.

Perhaps exercise?

Nah - tomorrow. There is always tomorrow.

This is how I spent my day today!

Well, I kind of messed up the leave. I didn't like the shadow, it was really bothering me. The colors, the angles etc. Unfortunately the leaf that I used as a model for my painting kind of shriveled up and changed colors so I couldn't use it as a reference any more.

Soooooooooo...I just kind of went crazy on it and added some swirly things. I actually like this version better!

Oh...and sorry about the spelling error on the word "waisting". eh - spelling and grammar aren't my "thing".

It's like riding a bike

It's been over 2 years since I've painted anything other than basement walls. I was very nervous about the whole thing. Actually it was more like fear. That fear has kept me from doing something that I really enjoy.

Painting.

It's not like I was jumping out of an airplane or climbing a mountain - but still the fear was there.

Minds -they do funny things sometimes.

For months I have worked hard on unblocking myself and conquering my fear. I've been reading books and other artist blogs.

Excuses kept popping up here and there and found their way between me and my paint brushes. (excuses are like assholes...everyone has one and they all stink!)

Yesterday I kept repeating the Nike mantra: Just Do It.

Just Do It, Just Do It,Just Do It,Just Do It,Just Do It.

So I did!

The first little painting was just a pop artsy kind of thing. Something I doodled on a post it note one day and thought it would look good as a painting. I got kind of sloppy with it and the lines aren't as crisp as I would like them but it was a fun warm up exercise.



The next one was an experiment in schmearing colors with a palette knife. Something I've never done before. Unfortunately I used a little too much stand oil so it came out a little runny but I think this qualifies for the blob I wanted to paint.

I like the colors at least. Kind of reminds me of my palette after I've been painting a while.



This last one was just something I wanted to try. I have always curious about portraits. I love to study faces. The small laugh lines or creases along the forehead. The cheeks and nostrils. Mouths, eyes...everything. I find them infinitely fascinating.

Rummaging around my photos I came across one of my Dad that I took when we were in Ireland. We were waiting for a shuttle to take us to the Cliffs of Moher I believe. It was misty and grey and he just stood there staring into space deep in thought.

So...my brain said...give it a go. If you don't like it, paint over it. No one will have to know!

But I like it...a lot. And I am very unforgiving about my art.

This isn't 100% finished. I just have a few touches to do, but it was getting late and my eyes were getting a bit blurry and so I stopped and will let it dry for a few days and then just add a few things.

Here he is. I hope you like him.

If you don't that's ok too. I do!

Now I have the painting bug so I will try to tackle a few more this week if I can.

Have a great weekend!

Something different

Now that the basement project is done, I thought I'd post something different.

A friend of mine (Yvonne Yaar <- click here for her website) is a glass artist and she taught a glass fusion class a few weeks ago. I signed up because I had been wanting to give it a try.

Hey - you never know what you can do 'til you try right?

Here are the pendants that I made:


It was a fun class and it felt good to be creative again. I don't know if I will actually wear them but they have become a sort of artistic talisman.

A start to find the creative me inside.

It's out there...I know it is. It's been hiding out in Facebook and endless games of computer solitaire and working in the yard and various house projects.

So today - I promised myself to dust off the ol' easel and paint something.

A blob, a flower, a dot, a stripe...just SOMETHING!

Sooooooooooooo stay tuned Romper Room pals....next week I'll post the "something".

The Bean

Actually it's called "Cloud Gate" and is a sculpture by British sculptor (naturally) Anish Kapoor.

The first I ever heard of this was on a painting blog by Karin Jurick (she's on my artist blogs I like to visit on my side bar.

I hope that you can visit her blog to see her paintings of "the Bean" and other paintings. Even though I'm a big fan of my sister's paintings over at Negativespace I also peruse other artists blogs to see what they are doing as well!

Someday I will get back to Chicago with my trusty 35MM SLR camera loaded with black and white film to give you my perspective of "the Bean" and other great Chicago sights!

Until then - pleas check these out: http://karinjurick.blogspot.com/search?q=bean

Art Appreciation Day

If you like paintings - please visit my sisters blog and leave a comment!

Thanks!

http://negativespace-neetzy.blogspot.com/2008/07/bird-on-wire-painting-by-anita-williams.html