Monday, June 15, 2015


Just a little over 5 years ago, Margie and I embarked on an adventure.  We opened up our own small business.  It was a wonderful dream and we loved our little business, but unfortunately like so many other small businesses, we now have to close it.

I don't need to bore you with the details...because it's boring and I'm tired of telling the story.

Retail is a bitch!  Ask anyone who has been in retail for any length of time and most of them will kind of roll their eyes and moan a little bit.  

My next business is going to be a retreat for retail workers.  

It will be a 5 Star hotel/resort/spa on a beach with a pool where they can come and relieve a little stress.  

Activities will include: 

Inflatable Sumo Wrestling - 

Stabbing/bashing life-sized dummies of irritating customers -

Naked bongo drumming with Matthew McConaughey - why the hell not. 

Free libations!!!

Full contact Hamster ball races down a hill!

And drunken asses Karaoke!!!

I think it would fill up pretty quickly don't you?

Friday, June 12, 2015

In these shoes?

A regular customer came into the shop today and she was wearing shoes that were about a size too small and she was having difficulty walking in them.  They were wedges, but they were a little too narrow and her feet were just busting at the seems.  I felt kinda bad for her, but that was her choice I suppose. 

Why do so many women wear shoes that are uncomfortable just because they look good?

I used to wear "heels" when I was in the corporate world, but only when absolutely needed. I'm not graceful in them and most of the heels I wore were the chunky thick ones, not the skinny spiked ones.  

Since I've been in the retail field I've worn mostly flat shoes, sneaker, mules, clogs, boots. All the shoes that make your feet get wide and fat.  

I've always kind of admired women who wear heels and rock them.  

I tried a few times in the 70's - remember Candies?  All the popular girls had them in junior high...I wanted to be popular.  

Ugh...I actually wore them, walked to school in them which was a mile away...(uphill each way) and then wore them all day.

What the hell was I thinking?  I had blisters on top of blisters.  Plastic death shoes. 

In my girly girl days (this lasted maybe between 1980 and 1990), I would occasionally get dressed up and wear small heals...nothing bigger than an inch.  Anything bigger than that and I'd fall off my shoes.  (No, seriously!)

I could do wedges...I had better balance in them.  I was all over them in the late 70's early 80's.  Then they went out of style and the few pair that I had left eventually wore out.  

In my young Mommy days...I wore shoes that I could slip on and slip off at a moment's notice.  Keds were my shoe of choice.  

If I dressed was always flat sandals in the summer and in the winter a loafer of some kind perhaps.  I didn't wear dresses very often and when I did I looked like the church lady so loafers were perfect.  

I had this dress!  Yes I did...I was the perfect Sunday School Teacher...oh yes...yes I was!  I had it in olive green, barn red and brown.  It was corduroy and I always wore it with a turtleneck.  

I was the queen of style I gotta tell ya!  

When I got divorced and I had to get a job and work for a living it was time to "dress it up" a bit. Lucky for me my job was a bit casual and "chinos" and colored jeans were OK to wear. That is when I wore the hell out of these babies:

Notice the heel...very minimal.  I think I must have had 10 pair of these things.  I'd wear them out and then get a new pair.

I was fortunate enough that all of the jobs I had were casual wear...not even business casual.  It was just plain casual.  

Then came the job where I had to wear a suit occasionally.  Laced up ankle boots would NOT cut it!  

That is when I got the standard "A" business woman who can't wear heels heels and they looked like this:

I had them in black, blue and brown.  

Now that is a sexy shoe isn't it?  

Not exactly CFMP's!!!

Utilitarian, comfortable and I could walk/stand in them all day.  I'm a very practical gal.  

But for all the gals that squeal over the newest, funkiest, spikiest shoes...this one is for you!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Stupid pet owners

We have 2 dogs:  Cody - a 4 year old 20lb Westie who is kind of aloof, but cute as hell and Max - a 2 1/2 year old 70lb mutt who is very sweet and affectionate for the most part, but he hates bunnies and other dogs.  Well, except for Cody to whom he adores.

This morning, we were taking our usual tour around the neighborhood.  I try to go nice and early to keep encounters with other dogs at a minimum.  It's just generally a lot easier for everyone involved...especially me.

Max took care of some business and I was crouched and poised with plastic bag in hand to clean up after him when Cody and Max started barking and pulling me.  Max is very strong and he whipped me around like a top.

Around the corner comes a woman with her dog.  They are on the other side of the street but moving rather quickly towards us. 

Max starts to lunge toward the woman and her dog while Cody is just barking like the little annoying yapper dog that he is... meanwhile I have a semi-full bag of dog shit in my hand. 

I am doing everything I can to keep my dogs under some sort of control, but Max is a very strong dog and he is lunging and growling and pulling me looking like this:

Now I am not sure what part of my dogs posture this woman thought was friendly, but apparently in her world this is and so she approached me and my snarling, barking menacing dogs and said a very cheerful:

"Hi!  Good morning!"

To which I snapped at her:  "My dog ISN'T friendly."

The dim watted light bulb finally gave a nice soft glow above her head and the woman got the point and scurried off.

"Fucking idiot." I murmured to myself and I tied my stinky bag of dog poop and dumped it in the trash can.