Shoot the bunny

Flatulence
Bombers
Air Biscuit
Purple Haze
Pass Wind
Pass Gas
Toots

Fart

Whatever you call them...farts are funny!

Why else would we find putting a whoopie cushion under Aunt Jezebels seat so hilarious.

Kids love farts and when they learn how to push them out on command, they do it all the time. Boys more than girls, but I've known some girls....oy!

Farts are a natural occurrence.

They are conversation starters and conversation breakers.

Some are so proud to show off their farting abilities while others are horrified to even admit that they do it.

And - for the record - EVERYONE FARTS.

Someone who tells you that they never fart is a BIG FAT LIAR!

They may not fart in front of anyone, but they fart.

If you didn't, you would spontaneously combust.

We say weird things when people fart:

"Better out than your eye!" was my Grandpa Harrison's favorite. I'm not sure what that means really - he was filled with stuff like that. He also claimed he saw the wee people when he was a boy in Ireland. (ok Grandpa!)

"Pull my finger" - where the hell did that come from and why do people do that?

There are the two sayings: "Whoever denied it supplied it" and it's companion; "Whoever smelled it dealt it."

We sing songs about farts: Beans, beans, are good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart, the more you fart, the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal!

We tell jokes about farts: Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and said, "My butt is going to sleep!" The other replied: "I know, I heard it snore three times."

There is a pivotal moment in any relationship where someone breaks the ice and is the first one to fart in front of the other. I was the proud owner of that claim between M and I. I blamed it on a non-existent duck that was flying over head. We both cracked up and then breathed a sigh of relief.

11 years later, let's just say we vary between being grossed out and laughing so hard we can have a fart fest!

A Dutch Oven is a purely male invention which I never got. This is where you are laying in bed with your lover, the guy farts and the pulls the covers of the girls head and makes her smell it.

WTF?

There are SBD's - Silent but Deadly
Squeakers - high pitched trumpet sounding
Loud and reverberating farts
Farts with little surprise endings

I could go on and on and everyone has at least one funny fart story to tell, but I never knew farting could get you arrested!

Poor Jose A. Cruz was pulled over for driving without his headlights. He failed his sobriety tests and was brought in for a breathalyzer.

As an office was preparing the machine, Jose let one rip and then fanned it towards the officer.

""The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged."

Along with driving under the influence and driving without headlights he was charged with battery and 2 counts of obstruction.

Why did he do it?

To quote Jose so eloquently: "I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

Better out than your eye Jose!