A difference

I woke up late this morning. I didn't feel like getting out of bed so I allowed myself to just lie there and wander in and out of random thoughts.

My alarm clock is always faced away from me for two reasons: the light is so damn bright it keeps me awake and if I have a sleepless night (of which there are many) I don't want to keep looking at the clock and see that it has only been 5 minutes since the last time I looked.

M had already headed off to work - more than a bit reluctant to return. Her boss to whom we've affectionately nicknamed "the Troll" has been out on vacation for the past two weeks. M has had that time to actually get some work done and get caught up on misc. things that seemed to get pushed to the side because the Troll has other work for her to do, like print reports and take pictures of every piece of equipment that is about to be thrown away.

I've never met the Troll, but I think we have all seen the type.

Daughter C was home last night. The first time in a while. She and her boyfriend spent the night here instead of at his parents house. We love him - he's a good looking guy and treats my daughter very well.

When I woke up this morning and walked out of my room I could smell his cologne lingering in the air. It was a bit weird.

Wow - it's been a while since the scent of a man has been in this house and perhaps it hit me how things have changed.

You see it happening all around you but on a day to day basis those changes are small. It is when you look back over a few months or a year that you really see the differences that have occurred.

I'm starting to feel the first twinges of an empty nest. My son has made a life for himself in Chicago and I only see him 2-3 times a year and now my daughter has been spending more and more time with the boyfriend aka Rick and it will be 4 or 5 days that I won't see her.

She does call just to check in and let me know she is OK (I worry about that stuff) but now the house has become very quiet in the evenings.

M has her baseball games to watch, I will putz on the computer, watch Keith and Rachel, pay the bills or try to focus on a book to read. (Menopause has really screwed up my ability to concentrate).

I like the changes. It makes me feel proud that my children have turned into responsible adults and learning to work out life's problems on their own.

On Saturday M and I will meet Rick's parents. They are coming over for a bar-b-que. That's a big step and I have to say I'm a bit nervous. Even though I'm fairly certain that his parents are aware that M and I are a couple I just worry about how it's received. Some people don't honestly care, some say that they don't and will keep up appearances but when they get home it's a different story.

I don't know why I care about this so much, but I do. More for the sake of my children than anything else. There is also that "needing to be approved" thing I have going on too.

Does one ever grow out of that?

Hmmmm?

So all of this deep thinking was brought on by a young man's cologne in my house. It's amazing how one little thing will make a difference in your life.