Sunday, July 05, 2009

Just float

Breathe deep....inhale.........exhale.

Changes are good - they rattle you up. Take you out of your comfort zone and give you a new challenge to tackle.

Most of the time I will agree with that theory because I don't like to get settled into one thing for too long. Restlessness settles in.

During my unfortunate unemployment I've been trying to "mix it up a bit" by taking on different tasks that have needed to be done around the house. There are some projects that made me think "outside of the box" which was both wonderful and sometimes frustrating.

It's kept my mind from going to mush.

Recently I registered at a temp agency. Just for work. ANY kind of work. Something that will put me back in touch with the human species again.

The agency tests you on your office skills. You have 3 timed test for Microsoft Word, Excel and basic typing.

According to them - my skills with Word and Excel were "above average" for that office.

It was a nice little boast to the self esteem!

Then there was the typing test.

Typing - only 44 WPM!

I used to be at 60 WPM!!!


Never mind - I'm just rusty. It will flow again once I can exercise my skills again.


I had an interview last week. It was up in Cambridge, MA. I hopped on a train in Trenton, NJ and it took me 5 hours to get there. The interview was about 2 hours and then 5 hours to get home.

Loooooong freakin' day.

I felt really good afterwards though and I'm crossing every body part that can be crossed that this is THE one.

The downside to the position is that I would have to drive to Somerset, NJ.

It's only 43 miles, compared to the 80 miles to Philly but it is 43 miles of NJ rage road driving it's kill or be killed traffic. The two major roads that I would be on: The Garden State Parkway (aka Garden State Parking lot) and 287 are infamous for traffic jams, aggressive drivers and speed traps.

I hate traffic. That is one of the few times in my life where anxiety gets the better of me.

But...I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't even have an offer yet.


We're getting 2!

I guess it's really only 1.

Daughter Caitlin and her boyfriend Rick are moving in.

I thought this would never happen.

Well...let me re-phrase that - I kind of hoped it wouldn't happen.

Is that terrible?

Nah, I don't think it's so terrible really.

Caitlin is 21. She's employed full time and goes to college part time. I had thought she was the independent one.

She has known Rick since High School. They've had this friendship/relationship thing going on and off for a few years now. Always more on the friendship side. Now they've been together for over 6 months.

Rick lives with his Dad and Step-Mom. Caitlin has been "living" there for a while now. We see her about once or twice a week maybe. The only time she comes home is to do laundry and hang out with me for a little bit and then she is gone again.

Silly me mentioned that they should just "fix up the basement and move in here" one time and "snap" that was all they needed!

(I need a censor for these things sometimes)

Before the economy tanked and I lost my job, Margie and I had dreams of buying that ol' farm house and raising Alpacas.

We've put that dream on the side burner now that I am unemployed and the housing market sucks the big one. We think in a year or two we can start looking again. I need a job and we need to make sure we can make enough on this house that we can use as equity on a new home. Otherwise what is the point?

Soooooooooooooo...Caitlin asked me when did we think we would move. I said, "Oh, probably not for a year to two."

Caitlin: "So, do you think Rick and I can finish off the basement and live there for a while and save up for our own place then?"

GULP!!! we are.

Caitlin and Rick are making plans for framing out and installing a drop ceiling into the basement and Margie and I are just in this weird moment of WTF?

Please - don't get me wrong. As far as "room mates" are concerned. I think they will be fantastic. BUT - as far as our vision for the immediate has been sidelined.

I was getting used to the quiet.

The uninterrupted times when I could just chill. Margie could watch her baseball games or study and I could either sit on the back deck and watch the stars or read or futz around on the computer.

In the quiet.

Maybe a few interruptions by the dogs...but basically quiet.


Just float.


Scout said...

The right breathing will get you through anything. Technically, I learned to drive in Indiana where people are calm and easy. But I actually cut my teeth with driving on Route 17 and Route 4 through Hackensack. I thought I would be squashed.

You'll be fine on the big, scary roads, so let's hope you get the job. And breath.

Shazza said...

Thank you Robyn!

the only daughter said...

Breathing is good. ;-)

Good luck with the job. :-)

8thdayplanner said...

I keep thinking of the Robert Frost quote: Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

And I am wondering how to prevent my (teenaged) kids from "having to go there" once they have left. Don't suppose I could just change the locks?

Shazza said...

Thanks Deborah!

8ThDay - This wasn't the plan really. Before I became unemployed my partner and I were looking to buy a farm house with 20 acres. That dream has been put on the backburner for the moment.

This will be interesting.

neetzy said...

Hey sis,

Shit happens. It could be worse.

Presbyfruit's History Bits said...

Ditto to Neetzy and the breathing advice. And just keep floating...