Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Frau Blucher

In 7th grade I had a teacher who I will call: Frau Blucher

On the first day of class she came into the room, silently.

Closed the door behind her, picked up a piece of chalk and wrote her name on the board:

Frau Blucher

After that came the speech that I can still hear in my head to this day:

"My name is Frau Blucher and I am not your friend. Write down how to spell my name correctly because this is the last time I will write it on the board. You are to write it on the top right hand side of every paper that you turn in along with your section number. Anyone who fails to spell my name correctly will automatically get an "F" for that assignment.

I do not grade on a curve, that is for lazy people. Homework is to be completed and turned in on the day it is due and I will not accept any excuse for lateness except death. You will have homework every night."

First day of class and I already hated Frau Blucher.

I am not a good student. It's not that I'm stupid, I just become "disinterested" in things very quickly and then I get lazy. My mind wonders, I start doodling instead of taking notes and then I cram at the last minute thinking I'll just get by.

Sometimes it works - but sometimes it doesn't. (Kids, don't try this at home)

Frau Blucher was our Reading/Spelling teacher. Two subjects that I did well in up until 7th grade. I quickly went from an "A" to an "F" in her class and just barely had enough points on my final report card to pass into the next grade.

It wasn't all due to Frau Blucher, there were some other things going on in my life: puberty, pimples, greasy hair, glasses, dessert boots, low self-esteem.

Just your garden variety dork.

Right before our Easter vacation, Frau Blucher just happened to be the teacher in charge of handing out our report cards for that quarter. As she handed mine to me she looked me straight in the eye and said: "Looks like the Easter Bunny won't be visiting some one's house this year."

This was the same class that I endured having my books pushed off my book rack, having rude pictures drawn on my desk, signs taped to my back and spit balls stuck in my hair. To have a teacher say something like that in front of your classmates though, was an all time low point in my life.

It did wonders to my already low self-esteem.

But - somehow I recovered and managed to overcome and be pretty successful in my life. (Take THAT Frau Blucher!)

Today at work was probably one of the lowest points I've had in my adult life and it brought me right back to 7th grade and Frau Blucher's class.

I had to do yet another "Demo" of our product today in front of my bosses, a new hire, a guy who was interviewing for a job and our customer service manager.

I have been struggling with this "demo" since I started at this company and I'm not sure exactly why, but today was just horrific.

Last night I carefully wrote down my notes and put down everything that I've learned about the product so far. I should have known it wasn't going to go well when I went to print up my notes and I ran out of ink on my printer. Then my printer gave me an error and I had to re-start my computer 3 times to finally get it to work.

Bad karma.

Anyway - I got to the office early. Met the "new guy", was introduce to the "guy who may come on board as a sales rep" who happens to live in the same territory I cover. Caught my boss in a lie - she was going on a customer visit yesterday and I asked to go because I thought it would be good experience for me. She told me that "The daughter of Frau Blucher" only wanted her (Peep of Sales) and our customer service manager to go because it was an existing client and they were going to discuss some issues the client was experiencing.

I find out today that they brought the "new guy" with them on the customer visit.

WTF?

Yadda yadda yadda

What - eva!

The "daughter of Frau Blucher" comes into the room - she doesn't even LOOK at me.

Doesn't even acknowledge me.

I do my "demo".

Overall, I thought I did OK. Not great, but OK. I was very nervous for some reason and I did miss a few key points.

Then the time of reconing when the "daughter of Frau Blucher" gave me my review. She looked over me, to each side of me and through me but never AT me. She's brought up some very valid points that were wrong and I will acknowledge that but then she added things like: "Peep of Sales" is what I consider an "A" Student in this company. I will not accept a "C" student because to me a "C" is mediocre. "C" students do not belong with this company.

Now - when I get nervous or upset I start to turn red. It starts in my neck and then envelopes my entire face and head.

I was BEET red.

I was seething.

I was on flames!!!

Looking at the "new guy" and the "who may come on board as a sales rep" she gave THEM details of what she wanted in this presentation that she has NEVER told me before and I've done this 4 freakin' times!

I caught "Peep of Sales" in lie #2 for the day when she looks at me and said: "Remember Sharon we went over this".

Fucking bull SHIT!

I know my presentation was not without flaws but JEEEEZZZUUUSSSSSS!

To add insult to injury I brought in my first potential client and I was given the third degree about how I got it!

COLD CALLS!! Fucking 20 fucking cold calls a fucking day!

But - to be nice I was allowed to eat lunch with them..."daughter of Frau Blucher" STILL not looking at me the entire time and then I was promptly told that I "can go home because I will be more productive there".

Meanwhile "new guy" and "guy who may come on board as a sales rep" are asked to stay.

WTF #2???

I feel that the "daughter of Frau Blucher" has already written me off.

I would quit, but I'm too much of a stubborn Irish woman to do that.

You haven't met stubborn until you've met the daughter of Rose Harrison who was the QUEEEN of stubborn!

The "daughter of Frau Blucher", who is very clever and used to be a lawyer is in for a very long battle.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Beeeeeeaaaaatccccchhhh.

I guess the Easter Bunny won't be visiting my house this year either, but it's only because I'll scare him away with my beet red scary face!


Oh...and for those of you who may not know who Frau Blucher is, please watch the attached clip! (This is my FAVORITE movie)


8 comments:

Sharkbuttocks said...

can still hear the horses squealing in horror at Frau Blucher. Daughter of sounds like a real twunt.

Shazza said...

SB - "Twunt" is a GREAT word...I like it!

Tammy said...

hang in there. the folks where i work are torturing a great gal of late pointing out anything and everything she's done wrong, never mind she can get a 1000.00 a day in sales at a freaking tanning salon. sadly she is resigning and i will miss her, but i totally support her decision. I hope it goes better for you, dig in your heel and don't let them win!! btw, that is one of the best movies ever made!!

neetzy said...

I don't remember your "Frau Blucher" from 7th grade, but your new bosses sound worse. You have a couple of twunts there!
YF is one of my all time favorite movies.

(We should get together and swap some of our school horror stories. We could probably write a book!)

dive said...

I always loved Frau Bl├╝cher, Shazza; I'm with the others in being a YF fan.

Sheesh! A company like that is not worth working for and imbeciles like that don't deserve any kind of respect.
You'll never get a decent reference from them either so I'm afraid if it were me I'd find myself a new job then fuck 'em up badly and walk out. I might key a few cars on the way.

Shazza said...

Tammy - thanks. I hope your co-worker does well in her new job.

Neetzy - I don't think Frau Blucher was around when you went there. Tom probably remembers her.

Dive - I've been looking around, but it's slim pickins out there right now. I need to just hang in there until I can find something else.

As I was walking to my car yesterday I passed her BMW and had evil thoughts!

the only daughter said...

YF & Clue...love 'em.

Your situation sucks big hairy monkey balls...or rather, bright, blue monkey scrotum (see the Faux aka Fox, news clip?)

Either way, sorry you are having to endure it. Keeping good thoughts for better, brighter days.

Sharkbuttocks said...

yes, appalling and edifying that's me.