Sunday, November 30, 2008

The End

Mercifully today is the end of NaBloPoMo.

What ever possessed me to participate in this I shall never know. It's done though and I did cheat a few times and posted just a word or two to keep me in the running.

It kind of takes the fun out of it when you feel obligated to post something every day.

Anyhoo -

Looking at the news across the world and I feel as grey and the day it is here in NJ.

The Mumbai crisis is just horrible. 174 people dead for what? I still don't know.

Thailand has 100,000 people stranded as protesters have taken over the airports and are refusing to let any plains take off. That is a situation that could get real ugly real soon if it's not dealt with quickly.

A man was trampled to death at a Wal-Mart on Black Friday as shopper shoved their way in to get bargains. What has happened to us as a society when a man is trampled to death and when the authorities try to get people to leave the store they shout out: "I've been in line since yesterday morning, I need to keep shopping."

Wait what? Is a human life worth more than saving a few bucks at freakin' Wal-Mart? I boycotted that store a long time ago now I've just reinforced why.

Two men shot each other to death in a toy store in Palm Desert, Ca. Apparently the wives or girlfriends of these two idiots started shouting at each other and along come the men to resolve the issue with guns. The Police think it may be gang related and not actually a fight over a toy, but come on!

Talk about your act of stupidity.

If you really want to go nuts, don't go to Arlington county Virginia. Apparently all the nuts are gone! There has been zero acorn production this year and Naturalists are scratching their...uh...heads trying to find out why.

Could it be global warming?

Dramatic climate changes?

Nah, just one of those freaks of nature that happens once in a while.

They aren't worried yet. ""What's there to worry about?" said Alan Whittemire, a botanist at the U.S. Arboretum. "If you're a squirrel, it's a big worry. But it's no problem for the oak tree. They live a long time. They'll produce acorns again when they're ready to." "

Butt the best story of them all and the stories I hunt for on the Internet is the "Butt Bandit" from Valentine, NE. Apparently 35 year old Tom Larvie has been leaving greasy imprints of his buttock and sometimes his groin on the windows of store, schools and churches for the past 2 years before the police finally caught him "in the act."

I cracked up when I read this story.

I wonder if butt prints are like finger prints and everyone has a different and unique print that can be used to identify them in court.

Ladies and gentlemen of the court, we will prove but the latest technology that the butt prints found on these windows are definitely Mr. Larvie's. Observe how the crack swerves slightly to the left. The hairy mole on his left butt check was prominent in all of the butt stamps we found around town.

That would be one jury I would happily "sit" in on!

heh, heh, heh

Peace all...I hope everyone is safe and sound and enjoying the last part of the weekend!


dive said...

A fine story to end NaBloPoMo, Shazza.

Yup, the world is in crappy shape but with people like the Butt Bandit to keep us sane we have no worries.

Unless we're squirrels.

Vic Hubbard said...

Look at it this way Shazza, the world isn't much different in terms of a$$es. We just live in a very informative era. The freaks and bad guys have always existed, it's just that now we hear about them all. On the bright side, without the information age, I would've never had the opportunity to laugh at "The Butt Crack Bandit".


the only daughter said...

Serious or silly, they all elicit the same query, "why"?

Butt (im)printer being caught in the act...::shaking head::

neetzy said...

Congratulations on the successful completion of NaBloPoMo! I could never do it! I could never be a daily painter either, unless I quit my day job.

The Linwood squirrels are safe thanks to the Semi-conductor. He feeds them pizza crusts, pie crusts and all sorts of junk. Our squirrels are happy to feast on the bird seed. We also have plenty of wild walnuts and hickory nuts. I don't think the squirrels will be on the endangered species list any time soon. The butt bandit is just another asshole. What would the world be without them?

Presbyfruit said...

thanks for the butt-print levity to round out your post. It reminds me of the time in tai chi class when we had to sit on our yoga mat and have our "partners" stretch our arms up, etc. I sat on my mat first, got up and said to my "partner," "you wanna use my mat?" We both looked down at the same time and noticed my sweaty butt print on my mat. He said, "that's okay."

Shazza said...

Dive - Long live the Butt Bandit

Vic - There is some news I could live without, butt...

Deb - We'll never know, and I don't think I want to!

Neetz - Gotta love that Semi-conductor. He may be gruff on the outside sometimes, but he's a big softie inside!

Presby - I would share my sweaty ass matt with you anytime my friend!

The Village Carpenter said...

When I heard about the trampling at Walmart, it made me sick.

But this butt story is making me sick, a different way. ; )

Poetikat said...

Fitting title - on all counts.

No shortage of nuts around here! (I mean the literal ones, of course - We put out peanuts every day. Looks like the spot where my husband put the suet cage isn't working out - I can see a squirrel hanging onto it from the railing as I write. Back to the drawing board on that one, honey!


Vic Hubbard said...

Geesh Shazza,

Just as I'm getting spoiled on my one-a-day Shazza vitamin, you make me go cold turkey! That is just .... soooo selfish:D