Monday, October 06, 2008

In light of recent events

The stock markets are crashing, the economy is tanking, I can't decide who to pick for the next leader of the United States, a new study shows that half of all mammals are declining, one of my fish died and my nerves are shot. I take a pill for this and a pill for that and chase it down with alcohol just to cope anymore!

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!


M and I are going to sell everything, buy a piece of property up in the mountains where no one can find us, build a yurt:
raise llamas:
and organic food and wine (of course)
and drop of the radar.

The llamas will be organic too and all of our clothing will be knitted from organic llama hair.

We will live off the land and become like Nell and create our own language: A tree in the wind will now be pronounced: "A Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee iieeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnn da Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen missachickapeeeee" (If you didn't see the movie, you will have no clue as to what I am talking about!)

Women, men, women who want to be men, men who want to be women and those who just want to be are all invited, but you need to build your own yurt.

Kids are OK as long as they are quiet and cute.

The rules will be easy - do what I say, not what I do and we'll all get along just fine. If you can't abide by those rules then don't bother coming. Find your own damn mountain.

Thankyouverymuchandhaveaniceday!

10 comments:

neetzy said...

The Yurt might be a nice alternative but if you even think to vote for McCain I'll have to kick your ass, or at least give you an eagle-bite!
Just remember...he has promised to put in far right supreme court justices who want more public religion and more gun rights! You however, are an adult. The choice is yours!

Vic Hubbard said...

OH Neetzy, have you learned nothing from Presby Fruit's Mom?
Gun are good!! I love my guns. I'm not saying you should vote for McCain. I fully realize the bad sides of both parties. But don't get your sister mad, she'll end up kicking us both off the mountain.

Fun post Shazza!!! Before I met Sylvia, I actually was preparing to live up on 80 acres north of Colville, WA., by the Canadian border. Alas, a bit too remote for my girl. Oh well, our little oasis will have to do.

Shazza said...

Sister dear, you don't have to worry, I am NOT voting for McCain. Eagle bites hurt, so I wouldn't risk it!

Vic - you know sometimes it seems like a good idea, just drop off the radar and become one of those wacky moutain people. I'll even stop shaving! I don't like guns, but M said she's buying a shot gun in case anyone tries to steal our llamas. She was in the NAVY so at least she knows how to use one. I'd probably shoot myself in the foot.

neetzy said...

Vic,
Just so you know, I'm not anti-gun. I am anti-NRA. They are a bunch of wackos! I dislike any fundamental extremists. I live in a rural area so I am a realist. When I was a rural mail carrier I had to deliver certified letters to every single NRA member on my route. That was during the first W run for office. I believe they were personalized letters from Charlton Heston or something. It made quite the negative impression on me.
Don't worry, Shazza knows eagle bites are a torture our dad invented. They are far worse than punches!

Vic Hubbard said...

I know what you mean about the NRA. They take things to the extreme. I usually attend a Friends of the NRA every year, but quit my membership because they are too out of step with my views. It's the same reason I don't "belong" to any pro-gun organizations (most are disguised white supremacists IMHO). Of course, extreme views are why I don't belong to either of the major political parties, too. I want a middle of the road person to run someday...that'll never happen:(

The Village Carpenter said...

Can I pet your llama?
(why does that sound naughty???)

Shazza said...

VC - sure you can! Just be careful because some times it spits! ;)

dive said...

I'm on my way there right now, Shazza.

Tom said...

Shazza, Welcome to Santa Cruz County - what took you so long.

Vic Hubbard said...

Shazza, Sylvia's dream is actually having alpacas. I think they spit, too. I've got a friend who owned or owns a llama and has been spit upon...nasty!!!
Btw...I'm still having to pull view your site on IE. I know, I'm whining!! I just hate IE and don't have any idea what happened to make your site screwy on Firefox.