Monday, July 21, 2008

C's Road Trip

The daughter took her first "road trip" this past week. The son, having flown in from Chicago on a bit of a break from school agreed to drive back with C and her friend.

They left on Thursday.

All day long I was on pins and needles thinking: I hope they are OK. What if the car breaks down? Do they know how to change a flat? Did she remember her AAA card? Does she have enough money for food? Gas?

Finally around 10:00 that night I got the call that they arrived in and sound. Tired and hungy, but safe!



The daughter had her big plans for Chicago. They bought tickets to the Pitchfork Music Festival on one day and then were going to tour around the city with the remainder of the time. Play it by ear, have fun in the city.

Unfortunately, the weather wasn't too cooperative, but I think they made the best of it.

This isn't the first time she's traveled on her own. Heck, she's been taking the train into NYC by herself since she was about 16, but still...every time she goes heart holds an extra beat until I hear from her that she's OK.

The daughter will be 21 in a few months. Very much an adult...but she's still "my baby girl". I look at her and think - "You're so don't know enough of life to be out on your own yet!"

I was married and had my first child before I was 22 years old.

I thought I was so grown up, ready for the world.

Interesting how your perspective changes when you become the parent.

The son has been out on his own for a few years now...and even though he's skinnier than I would like him to be...he's fine. He's learning about life.

It's different with the daughter though for some reason, maybe because she's my baby, my little girl...maybe it's just because she's a girl and I get so afraid of what can happen to young girls out in the world on their own.

I could drive myself crazy with worry if I think about it too much.

And I'm not really a worrier by nature.

So...little by little...I'm learning to "let go" a bit more each day.

Learning to let out that breath that I hold in.

The daughter just called a little while ago. She and her friend on "on their way home!" They should be back in NJ by 10:00 tonight if weather and traffic are kind to them.

Ugh...I can't help it....I will still hold that breath until she walks in that door and I know she's safe and sound.


mcCutcheon said...

hey shazza,

I think that's just part of the parent thing for some - my mother used to go nuts if she couldn't reach me on the phone for about half an hour. if I came home one minute late she was already leaning out the window, searching our street with her eyes. She got a lot better at the letting go thing when I moved out though. That way she couldn't keep tabs on me all the time and simply had to let me be. Other mothers are different, Finn's mum for instance is really laid back about all that.

dive said...

Sheesh! I'm out of the loop for a couple of days and you put up THREE POSTS!

Right. I have coffee. Let's read …
Hee hee. Boy, am I glad I didn't breed! Between you and Maria there's enough "mom-angst" floating round Blogville today to scare the willies out of anyone thinking of sprogging out.

Shazza said...

Thanks McC - I think you're right. I know it will ease up...but I guess you just can't help it.

Dive - you never cease to crack me up! Thanks dude!

neetzy said...

I can't believe C will be 21! I believe I travelled to Haiti at 21 or perhaps 22. Of course I moved to New York on my own at a younger age. At the time I thought Mom was "over-reacting" with worry. I had some brushes with danger but felt immortal at the time. I have two daughters who are teenagers...OMG! I say wine is cheaper and more fun than tranquilizers! BTW Thanks for sending traffic my way... it's working.

the only daughter said...

I hear ya! My baby girl will be 23 in a few months and yes, I'm right there with ya.

Though she's giving me plenty of time (& plenty of practice) to get used to her being gone, the transition will be very, very hard.

Vic Hubbard said...

My little brother is touring with his band. The last I heard from him, he was headed to New Orleans. He is soooo much more adventurous than I ever was. Last year he went to London for the summer by himself. Yes, he's 25 and technically a man. But, I still see him as this little kid that used to come into my bedroom and dance on my bed while I played my albums. He favorite was Uptown Girl. I never let him live that down. It's almost as good as the nude bathtub photo.

Shazza said...

OD - I've read many posts on your blog and understand you are going through similar stuff with your kids. I gues we just hope we've given them the right tools to begin...they will learn the rest as they go.

Vic - damn...too bad you don't have that on video. That would definitely be something to show to his potential love interests!!! It IS better than the nude bathtub photo!

mcCutcheon said...

P.S.: Shazza, go see Mamma Mia. That ABBA-song "Slipping through my fingers" might even capture your situation quite well. Besides, it's an awesome movie :)