What goes hobble, hobble, vroom, vroom?

Give up?

The hobble, hobble part is poor little M. A few weeks ago, (Saturday - April 4th) M's leg fell through a hole in our attic as she was trying to get something out of a box. I wasn't home at the time and unavailable to help her. She somehow managed to pull herself out of her predicament and climb back down to safety.

Later that evening, she confessed to me what had happened. (Margie doesn't like ladders and they don't seem to like her too much either so normally she doesn't go up one when I'm not around - for pure safety measures only)

She showed me her injuries - first thought...ewwww, that doesn't look good, I hope she didn't break anything. She assured me she was fine...it didn't really hurt that much, but I was able to persuade her to sit her ass down and put some ice on it.

The next day...her leg from mid-calf down to her toes was turning all kinds of purty colors like, red and purple, blue and yellow and a hint of chartreuse on the edges. She had a knob on her knee the size of a baseball.

"You should probably have a doctor take a look at that" I said, "that doesn't look too good to me."

Surprisingly enough, she agreed. (Did I mention M's just a teeny bit stubborn?)

Our family doctor we both love...she's great, but this time I have to say we are both a bit disappointed in the prognosis. She took a look at Margie's knee and said she had a hematoma and to go home...elevate the leg and put hot compresses on it to see if the swelling goes down. No x-rays...no thought of damage to the leg/knee/ankle.

She did order an ultrasound on the area because we had to fly to Puerto Rico and she wanted to make sure there were no blood clots that formed in the leg.

Ultrasound came up clear - we were good to go.

The Doctor added that within a few days the swelling does not significantly go down, to call her back.

So that was on Wednesday - April 9th.

M was a good girl and followed the doctors instructions and we actually did see the swelling go down in her knee, but her ankle was actually looking worse. Fortunately, it is her left leg that is injured so she is still able to drive and get around.

Went to Puerto Rico - she was sore, but OK. She rested it as much as possible.

Came back home...the bruising on her knee was disappearing, but she still had that knob there and that ankle was looking pretty ugly.

She called the doctor again - and this time the doctor tells her to go to a specialist. Sports medicine Doc. The earliest appointment she could get was Wednesday - April 23rd.

We had a lovely weekend - Saturday we walked all over Philadelphia - by the end of the day M was in a lot of pain. She was a trooper I tell ya...but when we got home that night it was clearly obvious this leg was more than just a hematoma and a bit of bruising.

Sports Medicine guy looked at the leg and told her" Oh...I don't like the look of that knee!" Not a good sign when a doctor says that. Took some x-rays, they are inconclusive since she still has a lot of swelling and has ordered 2 MRI's - one of the knee and one of the ankle.

He also gave her strict orders to stay off the leg as much as possible and to use crutches.

M + Crutches = disaster waiting to happen

She's already dropped one crutch on one of the dogs head and now he's traumatized at the site of them - but she's getting around...slowly, but it's OK.

Now comes the Vroom, Vroom part - I have to leave for the UK today on a business trip. I will be gone for 10 days.

I asked M if she wanted me to cancel, she said no, there really isn't much I can do for her at this point and her friend has offered to be around to help her out.

She's right...I know - but still - how can you leave your partner behind when she's going through all of this?

I know she'll be OK, but still - I worry.

Of course there is the whole GUILT thing too. Damned Catholic upbringing.

I battle with this old internal struggle of being the caretaker and making sure everyone I love is OK. Sometimes at the sacrifice of my own self.

C0-dependency is a new word in my vocabulary. Some how I always associated it with people who were clingy and needy and overbearing - but now I see it's something different altogether.

It was an "A-Ha!" moment when my counselor gently suggested that I "look it up and read about it."

Anyhoo - M will be OK. She has a friend close by who will help her out while I'm gone, my daughter is here at the house too, so she will not be alone. She still has to have the MRI's and then wait for the doctor to call her with the official diagnosis and solution and by that time I will be home and we can take care of this together.

In the meantime I will go on my trip and I will call home frequently and make sure everything is OK.

Guilt will not get the better of me.