Wednesday, February 20, 2008

B.I.M.B.O.

Ok...I just got to rant here a bit.

I stopped at WaWa to get gas in my car this morning. (NJ is one of two states in in the US the other being Oregon, which you cannot pump your own gas. It's kind of lame, but on cold days...I don't mind too much!)

So...I was sitting there waiting for my car to be refueled and watching the people coming in and out of the store getting their coffee and assorted goodies for their day when a pink mustang pulls into the lot.

My eyes involuntarily rolled back into my head.

It wasn't even a nice pink color...it was a bit Pepto Bismolish.

The Bismomobile pulls into a handicapped spot.

Funny, I didn't see any handicap license plates on her car or tag hanging from her rear view mirror.

Perhaps the driver has a handicap that isn't at first obvious to the naked eye!?

The car door opens and a long thin leg with spiked heals and painted on jeans appears.

The rest of this skinny young thing steps out of the souped up Bismomobile and you can see the "tramp stamp" clearly on her back since the poor thing could only afford 1/2 a jacket that only came down to the middle of her back and was too small to zip up.

What a vision!

Ms. Pink was sporting a hairstyle that I haven't seen since the 80's. It was long and it was blonde in some some areas around her face and darker blonde in the back. She had long curls around her face but then she had this "thing" piled on her head...but just the front part of her head. It kind of looked like she only had time to curl the front and top part of her head because the back of her hair was completely flat!

From where I was at the pumps, I can see the inside of the convenience store. I watch Ms. Pink go to work.

The check out counter is in front and center of the store. I could see a line to the left...about 4 people waiting to check out. Ms. Pink grabs something and then walks to the right side of the counter and throws her stuff on the counter...completely avoiding the line!

And...she got away with it!!!

Where is Maria when you need her?

This gal is a piece of work!

As she exited the store, I was blessed with a full frontal view of Ms. Pink: That THING piled on her head, 1/2 jacket with a hood probably lined with dog fur, BIG hoop earrings, PINK eye shadow and a navel piercing dangling from a body that was nothing but skin and bones.

Somewhere, someone thinks this person is HOT or Sexy, but I just thought she was kind of cartoonish. She must have walked right off the set of Hysterical Blindness.

Yes...there are girls in NJ that really look like this and yes, they seem to be the stereotype that movies such as GoodFellas or shows like the Soprano's like to showcase. In my 44 years of living in this state though, I have to honestly tell you I have not seen too many of these beautiful specimens walking around. They tend to cluster in certain areas like Vineland, Deptford and South Amboy, NJ.

I drove away from Ms. Pink singing the B.I.M.B.O. song!

8 comments:

The Village Carpenter said...

Oh, but she was obviously handicapped. It's a marvel that she was able to drive a car with only half a brain!

Are you sure she wasn't a drag queen?

So, one blonde asks another blonde..."Which do you think is closer: the moon or Florida?"

"Well duh!" The other blonde says. "Obviously the moon is closer because you can SEE the moon but you can't see Florida!"

Scout said...

Oh, HA! Imagine what she'll be like in thirty years.

I lived in New Jersey for a few years—Ridgewood and Wanaque—and I didn't mind that I didn't have to pump my own gas. It's a weird law.

Shazza said...

VC - not sure if it was a drag queen or not to be honest.

Ummmm...isn't Presby blonde?

Hi Scout - Wow...you were up in the northern part of the state. It is pretty up there! Yes, it is a wierd law.

The Village Carpenter said...

Presby's a bottle-blonde. shhhhhh

Maria said...

I would LOVE not pumping my own gas.

And, what a GREAT post. I could picture her picture perfectly in my head.

THANK GOD I don't have a tatt on my lower back. I do have one on my shoulder though, that I would love to have disappear.

Wyldth1ng said...

Was it a boufant?

Shazza said...

Wyld...it was poofy...thing. I don't know what you would call it really.

It defied gravity!

VC how is that in latin again? Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?

Maria - she was a vision!

I was chatting with my fashion concious daughter about this last night and apparently that is a new look that is "hot" at the moment.

Brace yourselves...we may be seeing big 80's hair coming back into vogue!

Identity Mixed said...

Wow. I truly do not miss New Jersey.

Well... sometimes I do. Around here, we see lots of mullets.