Saturday, June 19, 2010

Warning crazy woman rant


British Petroleum.

In the slight chance you've been living under a rock for the past 2 months let me give you the cliff notes:

April 20, 2010 an explosion on the oil rig "Deepwater Horizon" occurs. Of the 126 on board the rig 15 people were injured, 11 died. The rig is owned by Transocean Ltd. and was under contract with BP to drill an exploratory well in an area that the rig was operating.

April 22 a second explosion on board the rig causes it to sink into the Gulf of Mexico. A Riser pipe which goes from the wellhead to the drilling ship breaks as the rig sinks.

April 24 - two oil leaks from the well pipe down about 5000 feet underwater are found. Initial estimate of 1000 barrels a day could be leaking into the water...estimates were later revised to 5,000 barrels a day. Each barrel holds about 42 gallons, so that is an estimated 210K gallons per day.
Consider that we here in the USofA consume over 10 million barrels a day, doesn't seem like a big deal does it?

10 million barrels a day people!!! How many oil rigs would we have to have to satiate our lust for oil anyway? Hmmmmm? Drill here, drill now - yadda yadda yadda. It's a freakin' drop in the bucket and it would NOT lower the price of the barrel because we would STILL be dependent on foreign oil.

But I digress...

April 27 - Sec of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano and Sec of Interior Ken Salazar sign an order for a joint investigation of just what the hell happened. Napolitano later declared the incident to be a "spill of national significance."

Yadda, yadda, yadda - lots of people telling lots of other people what to do...

May 2, 2010 - BP tries to drill a relief well 1/2 mile from the leaking well which will "attempt" to intercept the existing well. BP estimates it will take about 90 days to complete.
(Meanwhile we are on day 12 of 5000 barrels of oil just pouring into the gulf)

May 4 - the Pentagon mobilizes up to 17,500 National Guard troops to help various states deal with the spill.
(day 14 of 5000 barrels of oil just pouring into the gulf)

May 5 - BP announces it stopped 1 of THREE leak points, but it does not slow the rate of the leak.
(day 15 of 5000 barrels......)

May 8 - The cofferdam or dome cannot be placed over the leak. (The dome at this point is just sitting on the ocean floor)

May 11 - Secretary Salazar announces that he's going to restructure stuff around and establish an "independent safety and environmental enforcement entity". entity is born. My vision is a bunch of people sitting around a big conference table with coffee and assorted pastries discussing what to discuss about what's being discussed about this disgusting disaster.

May 14 - President Obama announces he has ordered Sec. Salazar (I can't type that name without thinking in my head "Sal a ZAAAAAAARRRRRR" in a superhero voice) to conduct a "top to bottom" review of the Mineral Management Service. (I'm not saying he's a superhero OK because he isn't. He's just a guy who probably doesn't get much sleep right now)

Wait! Who? MMS (governments love the use of acronyms). YES...MMS, they are the Federal agency that manages our natural gas, oil and other "mineral resources". They also collect, account and disburses an average of $13.7 per year in revenues from Federal offshore drilling and other stuff! How about that?

(things that make you go hmmmmmmm.)

I'm so glad that the Prez was on top of things. 24 days into this and he finally makes a decision.

May 16th - a (RITT) riser insertion tube tool was inserted into the leaking riser and captures slightly more than 2,000 barrels a day. least they are slowing things down a bit...still for over 24 days we had 5,000 barrels a day worth of oil spewing into the gulf. Meanwhile Secty's Napolitano and Sal-a-Zaaaaaar sick the dogs after BP CEO Tony Hayward. (Go get 'em Blue....aaaaaoooooooo, aaaaaaooooooooooo, aaaaaaoooooooo)

May 17th the second relief well project begins. (remember it will take about 90 days)

May 18th - 22nd - blah, blah, blah...lot's of b-b-bureaucratic baloney and bullshit starts flying around reacting to what has happened.

Oh...and Mr. Hayward claims the impact of the spill will be "very modest". (I want whatever he's smokin' dude) He says this as some of the clumpy, lumpy, nasty tar balls are discovered around Florida. (must be some goooooooood shit man)

May 22nd - ahem, ahem....let me use my announcer voice: "OBAMA SIGNS AND EXECUTIVE ORDERRRRRRRRRR." Words like bipartisan , recommendations...more baloney and bullshit.

Meanwhile over 2000 barrels of oil is still spewing into the Gulf...I lost count, but we are over 1 month of this black, sticky, messy shit creating havoc to a beautiful body of water that is creeping towards the shorelines of Louisiana, Alabama and Florida cutting off fishing and ruining our shoreline. Pictures of endangered species covered in brown sticky oil are all over the news.

People are getting really pissed off here.

May 23rd...statistical report to make us feel a little better: "1.73 million feet of containment boom and 730,000 feet of absorbent boom have been deployed to contain the spill. Approximately 10.2 million gallons of oil-water mix had been recovered. Approx 785,000 gallons of dispersant deployed on the surface and underwater.

May 24 - 65.6 miles of Louisiana shoreline have been impacted. Fisheries have been declared a disaster.

May 28 - BP attempts to "Plug it up, plug it up!" They kind of say that it's never been attempted before at such depths...and they aren't really sure if it's going to work.

But what the hey? Nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

Fast forward to June 1 - BP shares take a tumble, the "top kill" operation fails and BP CEO Tony Haward announces: "I want my life back"

Awwwwwwwww...who feels sorry for Tony?

Hello? Anyone? Hello?

Ohhhhh...hey's it going? Liking the retired life are you? How is Laura doing?

OK...anyone else?

Hmmmmm...sorry Tony. Most of us just don't give a flying fig!

Now...let me just tell you this little tid bit - We...the USofA gave BP the rights to drill because THEY PROMISED, crossed their hearts and hoped to die, stick a needle in their eye that they were equipped to deal with a spill 10 TIMES LARGER, than the current leak.

Oh yeah?'s the deal dudes? What did you have your fingers crossed behind your back or something when you made that promise? Hey...USofA, did anyone ever CHECK this promise to see if it was true?

Nah...gentleman's agreement. We're all adults here. No one is thinking about themselves...or the money, or the big payoff at the end. nope...not us...huh uh.
:::walking away whistling:::

Oh...BP has lost 30Billion pounds of it's market value....boooohoooo.

June 7: BP tells everyone a second containment system will be in place by mid-June.


So we are up to what day 38 now from when this started and still 2000+ gallons of oil spew into the Gulf of Mexico.

But hey....if you look at it from really far's not really THAT big. Come on...the ocean is HUMONGOUS! This is just a blip. No worries.

Oh...BP share continue to drop. wah, wah.

June 8 - Norway says "No Way" to deep water drilling! Good for you!

June 9th - Ohhhhhhh...I LOVE this one: BP BUYS the top Google and Yahoo! search result for terms like "oil spill" in a bid to recover it's public image.

Let me say that one again: They are buying search terms!


Hello Dr. Spin? Paging Dr. Spin? Is Carl Rove in the house?

June 10 - The US government "signals" it will take legal action to force BP to stop paying a dividend to shareholders.
British Prime Minister David Cameron basically says - I'm OK with that. I'd be pissed off to if a US company did that on my shores. (my spin OK...I'm allowed to spin too aren't I?)

Chairman of the BP's insurance RSA says that Obama's approach to BP is "prejudicial" and urges him to stop criticism of the company.

Well uh yeah of course it is because BP is "responsible" for all of this. Remember r-e-s-p-o-n-s-a-b-i-l-i-t-y? Stuff they taught us as kids?

This is when it really sucks to be The President: You suck if you don't do enough and you suck if you do too much.

I wouldn't want that job EVER and in my personal opinion...anyone who does want that job is a nutcake.

But that's just my personal opinion.

OK...were up to June 11 - David Cameron (remember him...Prime Minister and all that) tells BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg to tell everyone that the company is still strong.

June 12 - Obama calls Cameron on the phone...they chat...ask how the families are, Obama asks: "Do they celebrate Father's Day in the UK?" Cameron sighs...chuckles...ha ha and then officially they tell us that Obama told Cameron that his criticism is all smoke and mirrors and I have to say this know the drill's all B.S." (these are my interpretations of some of the things I've read...stuff that goes on in my mind on how two politicians of power talk on the phone. )

June 13 - Obama declares: We need more money!!! Someone has to clean this shit up! (uh yeah because we're broke over hear)

June 14 - Obama compares the impact of the oil spill and it's aftermath to the Sept. 11 attacks. 911 made us change our foreign policy and realize how vulnerable we are and this disaster "is going to shape how we think about the environment for many years to come."

I sure hope so.

(we're getting close to the end...hang in there. Stretch...get a glass of water...go to the bathroom, let the dogs out, have a smoke.

Take 5 and then come on back..... we go. Ready?

June 15th - Obama accuses BP of recklessness and names an "oil tsar". A tsar is born!

BP's credit

June 16th David Cameron wants protection from the US against excessive compensation. (Anyone hear the lawyers in the background telling him what to say?) (Anyone here our lawyers in the background telling us to "take it all! Crush the infidels!" ) ( words...people...MY words)

Today is June 19th - it has been about 60 days since the first explosion happened. Everyone is screaming at each other, citizens are appalled and in shock about what has happened.

Boycotts of BP hit the Internet - but listen to me doesn't hurt hurts the poor guy who runs the station. BP could really care less about me. My ex-husband had an Exxon station when the Valdez spill happened. We were vandalized and harassed. Not by people we know...but by strangers who were angry at Exxon. Exxon really didn't give a rats ass about the dealer. If the dealer went out of business...they'll find another one to run the station.

60 days of thousands of gallons just pouring out of this well.

You know things are bad when they actually hire Kevin Costner to help!!!


He and his brother have created a machine...a centrifuge type thing that will separate the oil and water and help clear up this mess.

Kevin Costner. Waterworld boy!

If you build it...they will come!

And they are.

And he is!

So, that's my rant. I took information from various places. The facts are there, the interpretation is pure Shazza. This is what I would be saying to you if you and I were at a cocktail party and this subject came up.

It's all me and how I see things.

How do I see it?

A freakin' nightmare. A colossal disaster. A finger pointing, I don't want to take full responsibility pissing contest.

Just shut up and fix it please.

one last thing...i'm up way past my bedtime so I didn't spell check this or edit it. I'm tired.

night night!


neetzy said...

Who cares if you can't spell? I am with you on this rant. Effing BP CEO dude yachting in the pristine waters off the coast of England while our waters are fouled by his excrement. Our fucking republican apologized for the president's rude rude treatment. this after complaining that Obama didn't do enough. WTF?

Presbyfruit's History Bits said...

I'm with you. This story is just infuriating, on every level.