Merge -
transitive and intransitive verb
Definition:
1. combine: to combine or unite with something to form a single entity, or make two or more things do this.
2. blend: to blend, or make two or more things blend, gradually
Yield -
1. transitive verb produce something: to produce something naturally or as a result of cultivation
2. transitive verb give something as result
4. intransitive verb not be firm or solid
5. intransitive verb stop resisting: to stop opposing or resisting and agree to some body's demands or requests
6. intransitive verb surrender: to admit defeat and surrender
9. let another pass: to slow down or stop in order to let another vehicle pass yield to traffic on the right
I have been driving a car for...well.....a pretty long time. Perhaps I need a refresher on my driving abilities because I always applied the two definitions as provided above when I am driving. (well...almost always)
If you have ever driven in NJ, you will understand that driving here is the ultimate fight for the survival of the fittest!!!
It's a competition to see who can get "there" faster. It doesn't matter where "there" is, but everyone is trying to get "there" and they are always in a hurry.
We have a few obstacles that we need to overcome in NJ that I think roadway engineers must sit back and chuckle about from time to time.
These obstacles are: Entrance and exit ramps
I never quite understood why they were designed so that the ramp with slow moving cars merging into the highway were place right before ramps with fast moving cars trying to get off the highway.
Remember those definitions from above:
Merge - combine, blend, unite
Yield - give something up, be not firm, admit defeat, LET OTHER PEOPLE INTO THE FREAKIN' ROADWAY DAMMIT!!!!
These are not the definitions that the NJ driver understand. To "merge" is to wedge your obscenely large SUV the size of a tank into traffic going about 70 - 75 mph without slowing down. (remember...we're in a hurry to get "there")
Turn signals are definitely optional in a merge. Why give the competition and edge?
No freakin' way!
Keep them alert...don't ever let them think that they know what your next move will be.
Yield - ha...yield is not even in the average NJ vocabulary.
We don't even know what it means.
When some poor slob from another state drives on our highways and actually slows down and tries to yield to the right of way, he/she is greeted with blaring horns, various forms of sign language and "the stare".
I think "the stare" is really the most effective use of communication to be honest. When someone gives me "the stare", I can't function for the rest of the day. "The Stare" basically says: "what the hell are you doing you freakin' idiot, nobody "slows down" at a yield sign...just the opposite...we speed up and see who the hell we can cut off we're trying to MERGE here!!!"
9 comments:
NJ has "the stare" whereas PA has the "drive up at warp speed behind you and get as close as possible without touching just to teach you a lesson because how dare you merge in front of me" tactic.
I've seen that tactic in action!!! I work in Philly! I think my Dad got that from an Amish guy in a horse in buggy in Lancaster over the weekend too. (What are they feeding those horses?)
The Amish have long been suspected of using "the clear" on their horses.
I don't drive that much these days, but it is just as (if not more) treacherous for pedestrians and cyclists.
The primal scream doesn't help move the tank over to the left, but it helps me.
lol @ the only daughter's comment!
@shazza: I hope you don't think drivers are any different here. turn signals are for wussies. and big expensive cars seem to come without any turn lights ;) they'd probably have to buy them separately, but who'd bother, because - see above - turn signals are for wussies ;)
You are a brave woman Only!!!
I'll stick to bike trails for now until I get those calluses on my butt and some more steel in my nerves!
McC - At least if I ever have the opportunity to drive in Austria I will have some experience. Do you drive on the left side or the right side? If it's the left...I'll hire a cab!
don't worry, right side :)
have you tried driving on the other side before? not like a crazy person, I mean in a different country ;)
I've never had the chance to drive in the UK, but I once sat in the passenger seat of a german car in England: I was holding on to dear life.
NJ not only has 'the stare' but dispenses drivers licenses on the specially marked boxes of Lucky Charms. So not only are they obtaining a license to drive but it's magically delicious.
When I moved to NJ 11 years ago, I was in SHOCK. Who taught these people to drive? We lived there for 10 anxious years behind the wheel. Now we are no longer there and I drive out here in the Boonies like a NJ driver. AAARGH!!
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